Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Insecure Way of Living

I was driving home after a long day of deep thinking and internal observation of my life, and the thought popped into my head.... Insecurity produces irrational thinking.

Let me say that again, insecurity produces irrational thinking. Now what do I mean by that statement. Okay, so you have been hurt before by the one you love and now carry around this feeling of insecurity. Feeling as if you don't measure up. So when you feel like this for more than 60% of the time, you can start to see things that are not really occurring. At least this has been my experience. I think it's because you don't want to be hurt again. You don't like feeling vulnerable so you use all you got to make sure that you are never in the same position twice. So much so that you see things not as they are but as they appear to be.

So how do you move past this? I think it's one of those things where you have to make a conscious decision to change your way of thinking. In other words, when the situation pops up where you start to think that you are seeing things that make you start to put your walls up. Take 60 seconds and look at the situation from all angles, then make a rational decision. Remember we are to live by principle not emotion.

Just some words of advice.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

God's Blessing


Let me introduce you to one of the most inspirational individuals you will ever come in contact with Dennis Wallace, Jr. Mr. Wallace is the second of four children born to Dennis & Darlene Wallace on March 25, 1968 in Detroit, Michigan. Dennis faced heartache at a very early age with the murder of his mother, Darlene, at age 5 and the murder of his father, Dennis Sr., at age 6. This is where Dennis first entered into the “system”, after spending several years at one the many state orphanages’ and foster homes, he went to relatives. Dennis was no longer a young impressionable child but had become harden and tough, the effects of growing up earlier than any child should have to.

Dennis obtained his High School Diploma in 1986 from Mumford High School, even with being shuffled from one institution to the next, i.e. Don Bosco, Camp Highfields, Todd Phillips, Adrian Boys Training School, Boys and Girls Republic… After High School, Dennis enlisted in the US Army where he developed his leadership skills and discipline. Dennis is married to Sharone Wallace and the Father of Jessica, Dennis III, Stephen and Nadia. Dennis graduated with his Bachelors of Science degree in Theology from Oakwood University in Huntsville, Alabama. April 1999.

During his tenure at Oakwood University, Dennis was very active in the community, even to the point of starting his own non-profit organization, entitled “Because He Lives Ministries, LLC” where he served as President. BLC provided after school tutoring, empowerment seminars and the 1st annual Family Fun Day in the low economic neighborhood of Meadow Hills.

In March of 2002, Dennis was arrested for the distribution and manufacturing of a controlled substance which led to a sentence of 10-40 years. During his prison term, he choose to do everything he could to ensure that upon release he would not be the same person as when he came. He attended any class offered that he was eligible for, including but not limited to N.A. and Parenting Classes. His most difficult and most rewarding time came when he joined the R.S.A.T. program. This programmed challenged Dennis to discover the root of the choices in life he made that brought him to prison. He accepted the challenge and at the end of the six month program was asked to give the graduation speech.

Dennis paroled 5 years into his sentence March 2007 and proved his determination to not return the same. Dennis has worked as a case manager, job employability skills liaison and triage coordinator. However, the titles do not do him justice for he has been more than that, just ask any of the clients that have crossed his path. Dennis goes above and beyond what is asked of him, making himself available to his clients 24/7. He is a, a counselor, an employability skills trainer, job developer and so much more. He is giving back not in just words but also in deeds. Dennis’ ideal of community activism begins with his dream of resuscitating the communities he poisoned with the death he has sold since his youth; Breathing back life into communities, one family at a time, on job at a time. This goal to return ex-offenders, displaced homemakers and welfare recipients to self-sufficiency is only a small part of his attempt to pay what he owes.

Dennis has conducted Seminars/Workshops for Pre-Release Programs. He is also traveled across the United States doing public speaking in various venues.

For more information on Dennis’ availability for workshops and public speaking engagements please email dennis_wallacejr@yahoo.com

Friday, October 23, 2009

Do You Have What it Takes??

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version): 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New King James Version):4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.


As a little girl, like most, I dreamed of my prince charming coming in to swoop me off to Happily Ever After. We read all the fairy tales and dream of being grown where we can find that Prince who will make it all better. Imagine what a rude awakening it was that after I found my Prince Charming, after the Wedding, that the Happily Ever After doesn't just happen on it's own.

I was a little perturbed to say the least, more like distressed! Wondered what the hell I signed up for. I hate arguments, I hate disagreements.. I run from them. What do you mean we might not get along at times? I was like GOD what is going on?? I am praying, I am going to church, I am involved in Church and my community.. can't you just give this one thing.. Then I began to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 EVERY morning. This text perplexed me, and cut deep.. God's definition of Love is DEEP!

Love suffers long -
(it suffers?? that means that it's not always going to be a bed of roses)

Love is kind -
( that means I have to watch my behavior.. How am I treating my Husband? Am I nice? even when I don't want to be?);

love does not envy -
(This was hard for me because I found myself jealous of my husbands different talents things that I wish I possessed.. I had to let that go);

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up -
( To me it means that I don't need to profess my love like I am trying to convince someone because my actions will show it.. Also I need to realize one person is not better than the other but we all have something that we bring to the table that should be respected)

5 does not behave rudely -
(God was like Sharone quit the sarcasm.. I still struggle with this one.. but God is working with me on it) ,

does not seek its own -
(That means I am going to consider my beloved when making decisions.. because what I do does affect him),

is not provoked -
( yeah okay this is still a hard struggle but I cant take offense to everything that comes out his mouth.. I can be overly sensitive.. when what he is saying is coming from unconditional love and it also says to me that I can't allow what the other person does or says to make me react in way that is unlike Christ) ,

thinks no evil;-
( simply put give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. The Devil is a trickster he would have us believe the worst before we even talk to our spouse.. God would have us see the best in our spouses.. )

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth -
( Honesty is so important in a marriage.. transparency is a definite must.. the truth can be painful but it is a necessary pain to grow and become better in Christ) ;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things -
( This is where I have my beef with most people who give up on their marriages at the drop of hat.. You have to resist the sinful nature that causes us to just say forget it.. but God requires us to go beyond ourselves and have a faith that never waivers that what God has put together No man can put asunder and this applies to you and your spouse as well.. if God put this marriage together then it's not up to you to destroy it.)

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. -
( True Godly love is UNCONDITIONAL that even if you don't agree on something doesn't mean that you are not loved.. My husband always use to say.. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.. it's so true don't throw away everything because you couldn't agree on a decision)

God has taken us through some serious twist and turns and we are still together. We credit only God to that and having the type of love that is listed in Corinthians.. I have my happily ever after but I have it through blood sweat and tears...

To God be the Glory Great Things He has done... So do you have what it takes??